Manual “How to write blogs to always pick up a mowing”

How to write good blogs? Well, firstly, you should not start them with a rhetorical question. Secondly, it is advisable to avoid incredibly long, complex and crookedly formulated sentences that are diluted with disgusting, like European-Asian arthouse, epithets and metaphors, watery, like the diploma work of any student, and inappropriate, like a hammock at a research station in Antarctica, which, as a result, prevent the reader from understanding your thoughtsAnd the subtleties of references. Thirdly, on the other hand, it is impossible to make the text completely dry, although you should refrain from using smiles and memes of the lower Internet, you have no troubles with the head? X))))) and without repeating words, please, and then repetitions when reading cause a desire to repeat one of the types of torture over the author. Still give up words that are not included in the literary Russian language, strike some kind of design, flexinite in the first comments and go to the kitchen after publication, so as not to catch the cring from some comments.

The paragraph above ironically describes any blog about how to write blogs, sorry for the tautology. And there were more than enough of them, they were written plus minus in one vein, and you know, they are united by some monotony of the narrative. Do not understand us wrong, they intelligibly explain what and how to do. And this topic will be from the same cohort ..

At this moment, in four different cities, a dark essence appeared next to four people. Four identical blows – three human bodies and one cupcake fell to the floor. The essence, rather rubbing hands, began to deform, acquiring the features of the stunned. With a sharp movement, she pushed four chairs and, rubbing three pairs of hands and one – crumbs, with a satisfied look reached for the keyboard.

You seriously thought that I would give these meticulous bores to write another topic about how to write blogs correctly? Not so simple, but not this time. Are you really not tired of the same tips, like “write competently”, “make out beautifully”, “choose the original theme” and so on. Boring, indistinguishable, mediocre. Such recommendations do not always work, and the authors of the text are too naive to understand this. Let me give you a couple of tips that will help not only “write good blogs”, but “take the mowing of the week”. Agree, it sounds much more interesting, so let’s get.

Brevity – talent sister.

… and lazy. Nevertheless, why give a mountain of text when you can limit yourself to several small paragraphs. Evaluate the research depth of this work dedicated to piracy. The blog lists a dozen games with brief information about who hacked it and how. And the teams of hackers are completely mentioned only two. But do not rush to cook the pitchfork: perhaps this blog was hacked by evil hackers, who, together with protection, cut out pictures, videos and technical details from it. Harmful pirates simply took the author’s account on boarding with shouts “Today is our day!”. “… day … money … money …” – answered the echo of SG and with hypnotizedly sent a mow to the corresponding bank account.

You can “create” in a similar vein and using another format, for example, reviews. We take a hype game, write the name in the spirit of “insert the name of the game – masterpiece?”, Necessarily with a question sign to give greater clickbeat – Voila, half of the work was done. And the review itself? Well, I don’t know, by a couple of sentences about graphics, sound, gameplay, in the end, reinforce it with an analysis in the spirit: “No, well, the game has its own shortcomings, but it is rather a masterpiece than not, I didn’t understand”. And add an assessment: “Ten out of ten, oh Lord, ten out of ten!”. And now a little mathematics: game 10 out of 10 from users, blogue 10 out of 10 from the editorial office, it turns out 10 out of 10. Or 10/10/10, and taking into account the level of irony in this post, all mathematical actions change to the opposite, t.e. The division is replaced by multiplication. We get 10*10*10 = 1000 rubles. Kosarian magic of numbers.

Four rooms, in each of which stunned personalities … Wait a minute, he clearly pretends and just sleeps, this one crawled out by the sofa, the third disappeared under the plaid. Nobody forgot about the baked either, he is already hiding between PS3 and PS4 with a phone in crumbs. Actually, the remaining Trinity smartphones were also at hand. Oh, this century of new technologies.

Chat in Discord, 25:72 on MRS.

– You have no idea what has happened now.

– I suspect that everyone had the same.

-Someone sees what it does?

– obviously rules our text. More precisely, he is no longer ours.

– Hmm, we will intervene?

– absolutely not, let’s just wait.

– I vote for “wait”, I have a plan ..

Analytics from the sofa edge

Now I will help those who want to write something, even the topic for the text is chosen, but there is a problem-the devil knows how to reveal and analyze such an amount of information, especially if there is no time/desire to deepen. This time there will be more examples.

Wake The Fuck Up, Samurai! We have blogs to kosar ‘!

Take a look here-a unique topic, we do not often see the classifications and tops of anything. But it is difficult to reveal it: here you need to plunge with fangs in the neck of psychology, and systematically collect data from different groups on the Internet by droplets, so it is better to suck out the topic from the finger. It would be nice to make the work does not reflect incompetence in this matter: we use art inserts .. *Sounds of flush and Shanti choked with tea* … more metaphors and, of course, funny pictures. Or at least those that seem funny to you, insert, the mass audience likes it. And all the cheaters are a priori suck!

You can go from the opposite: Nonukcasinosites.co.uk/casinos-not-on-gamstop/ we take the topic popular in narrow circles as a basis, for example, retrovide, but we do not disclose it for a wide audience. We throw several representatives of this genre from different areas – games, films, music – and make their descriptions as short as possible so as not to overload the reader with information. And at the exit we get a thousand rubles, the stylistics of the last millennium. The blog lures both the fans of Retrovyiv and the people who accidentally pass by, the old man is always in fashion. The former will throw up sentences in the spirit of “but it would be nice to mention this,” but the second will like everything, because they are not in the subject.

A good option is to write half the text. Look, we take the topic about the villains Far Cry, where in the first paragraph we hint that we will compare Vaas and Piagan Mina. After that, we devote the entire blog to Payeigan – and Voila, everything is ready. And where is the second half about the WAAS? Well, it is customary to pay 2000 rubles for such texts, SG can offer only 1000. For half price – half of the text, appreciate your time and effort.

Now let’s turn to the technical topic. Sound design is a complex area, which is better to disassemble on examples, while you can score some general laws of how it works. We try for people, but they still will not appreciate. But wait if you are also doing a video version, what kind of dismissal can we talk about? To hell with a structure, punctuation marks and other rumors of the Grammar-Nazi-this is a video material! But write the word “subscribe” to the caps and shove yourself into the text twice – at the beginning and at the end – this is important. After all, you want the consumer of the content in his head to call the bell and he ran joyfully poke all the buttons for the video.

And again to psychology, namely, to the effect of the ominous valley. Assess the number of examples. Well, yes, most of the topic either does not apply or is tied very weakly. But in this case, you need to provoke LNGS from the reader: you mention that robots cause the effect of an ominous valley, throw it for an example of developing Boston Dynamics, which are more like dogs. And the dog is a friend of a person, therefore, we subconsciously equate them to people, because in friendship everyone is equal. So, a dog = man and all the features of the effect of an ominous valley applied to people are applicable to them and to them. Shah and Mat, cats. Do not be afraid to fall into the search for deep meaning – the material will be more voluminous, there are more comments, and your arguments are more significant, thanks to the number of examples.

If you are not confident in your arguments, do not hesitate to highlight the words. No, not so. Let’s again with an example: you need to emphasize the importance of emotions when creating a character so that the player/viewer understands what to pay attention to. And your reader will be grateful for the fact that you emphasize only the most important, and he was able to feel your thoughts better. It is not necessary to realize the text at all, but maybe even harmful in such an emotional topic. Another thing.

“I don’t know anything myself, but I will tell you!”

You are familiar with the feeling when you learned something new and you can’t wait to share it? Or when you were interested in something that you were never fond of, and now in the wake of euphoria you are sitting down on the text on this topic. And it does not matter that you do not know any details or nuances that are actually extremely important.

I just read this topic and began to chop the mower! © Kosar ‘Slayer

For example, you read an article about a neural network generating nicknames of cats, heard a lecture on programming at the university. This is enough to become a guru in the field of artificial intelligence and carry enlightenment to the masses. Do not go into details, do not check your conclusions – just share your insight with the rest. Well, who else can collect such an array of information and correctly systematize it? Most likely, all sorts of wise men in the comments will appear, answer politely, and they will lag behind. And people of ignorant people will bow to your wisdom.

But not only technical topics are suitable for such a collective format. You can seize something close to the humanities, for example, for psychology. Write out all your knowledge, even if they are close to the level “What is psychology?”, Google, add a couple of articles from“ Wikipedia ”, mix everything obtained, pour water, cover with a lid. And already seven days later, a fragrant mower from a mower will be ready!

There are also situations when you played a bunch of games of one genre, and it seems that everything, you can tell about any of its representatives … But the problem is that the genre is visual novels, and the devil knows how to view them correctly. Well, judge for yourself: there is no gameplay, with the exception of rare puzzles, there is no graphon (instead of it, shots from some Asian cartoons), there are no animations either. But there is a plot, characters and a ton of text. It seems there is no way out, but don’t despair. Once at the forefront is the plot – retell it! Thus, you protect the reader from spoilers in the comments and from disappointment when passing, if suddenly his beloved character is killed in the middle of the game. Yes, it doesn’t look like a review, the history of the series too, but here you can get out: we add a little facts about development, the version of the game – everything, now the material can be proudly called “History of the visual short stories”, and not “passage”.

And what to do if you are really an expert in the field of translations, for example? You can calmly open the game for porting, pull out all the Basurmansk letters and replace them with old -Slavonic eyes with closed eyes. Well, describe this process as briefly as possible, throwing into the text only the most important thing: mt.Framework, GMD converter, mention the problem associated with Optical Khunts. Well, yes, the layman, most likely, will not understand anything, but as a long -standing blog wisdom says: “Give a person a painted article with all the details, and he will understand everything once; give him the main terms and send him google – and he will always understand everything”.

And if you are a humanitarium with a brain, but soul – a techie – run to use advice from the end of the previous paragraph. Connect some acquaintance-technician and give out a small text about creating volumetric interiors. It is clearly not to be immersed in the topic-there is only muddy sprites and cubic textures. What did you expect? The budget is a mowing, and then not a fact.

Other useful tips

E3 is one of the main events of almost any year for the gaming industry. Therefore, writing a blog about this conference is a great option. But there is no need to go into a complex analytics: we take a long -term construction with a bunch of fans and describe its presentation with the text. What if suddenly the recording of E3 from “YouTube” will be deleted? And so the text version will be, it can be ponocalized after 5 years. But so that anyone does not think of anything – we dilute the text with a list of news on the game. Just retelling the presentation and the list of news, this is enough, after all, you don’t fly to Los Angeles to Los Angeles.

The topic of tops has already been raised – the format, unfortunately, is extremely rare. Especially for games about Spider-Man. But in order to make a top, you need to go through at least five games, and this is a break in time – what to do? Do not completely go through them, no one canceled the golden rule of two hours: if you want to continue after two hours of the game, in the top, if not, in the Refand?!”, Everything is simple. Just honestly warn you that not all games have passed. Hearing this, the editors of the SG will say: “Well, we have not watched the video completely, but we will give a mower!”

You can also choose a game tied by critics and gamers and … pour it with a bucket of praise, sprinkle with a pinch of admiration. And call it a review. The fanboy will be less noticeable, because almost everything is delighted with the game. Although the sake of decency, I advise you to gently scold some trifle to take your eyes off. Like, in this scene the color filter drives depression, and in that mission of three rounds and a pair of grenades for complete happiness was not enough. That’s all, the magnificent “review” of the amazing game is ready!

Most of the materials on the video entertainment industry are published in English. Therefore, if there are VI from England, then you can make a translation of some article, preferably about popular developers. For this, everything that is required of you is knowledge of English. If some short-sighted person claims that for a competent translation you also need to know Russian, then you can politely ask him to focus. The main thing is that the meaning will be transmitted without much distortion, and the reader himself will correct everything in his head. Say that “a competent Russian did not enter the deal” and take your honestly earned thousand wooden ones – what language is the translation, in that currency and wages.

Perhaps you will want to write an article on some serious topic, for example, to make out how realistic the weapon turned out in a particular game. The text for such a material should be as dry as possible, no irony and jokes. Imagine that you are a robot that has access only to Wikipedia, and the humor module has been deleted. People “out of them” will be interesting to read an article written in this style. The fans of the militar-themes will fall asleep on the third paragraph and will not torment you in the comments by nit-picking in the spirit “But this screw on M4 is not so twisted!”.

What to do if you are a person busy, and you need to write a review? Drag a demo on the preparation table and break it into atoms. It is necessary that the text be gained at least a five -minute review. Be sure to mention that 146% of all achievements are knocked out, and in the cave, behind the third turn from the castle there is the best fork in the whole game – you will immediately look like an expert. Still insert more Words in English, like “Demo” and “Feedback”. That’s it, You are amazing, Obzor is unbelievable.

Another interesting feature that can help in writing any material, even if the story of a series of some JRPG, will be the use of the longest and most twisted offers, equipped with the largest number of involved and participating revolutions that are not striking immediately, but introducing the reader into misleading and misunderstanding: and what, in fact, was now read and what his deep meaning, certainly hiding somewhere, is certainly hiding somewhere.under the thickness of this whole huge structure, to the end of which, in fact, is not so far away. Indeed, it ended, but just where it began?

But the easiest way to pay attention to your work was and remain clickbeit. One of the best options: “What the famous dude was wrong”. Just choose in this case some kind of media personality, and not a household electrical appliance for hair drying. Grace up from the text of this person as many controversial quotes as possible, say that you do not agree with him – and that’s all. The case has been done, your opinion is much more significant and reasonable. And what, reactions on stream services are popular, here and here a similar format, “Review of the history of the series”, sounds good. Take the idea and kosar for its implementation.

The dark essence was quite back in the chair: the text is ready and it was the very embodiment of evil. So much poison, so much hatred, what needs! It will be a real bomb! But the matter is done, then you need to leave. The dark essence got up from the chair, and slowly followed the four doors, and left the premises. The owners of the rooms slowly and slightly uncertainly approached the computers.

Chat in Discord, 26:99 in MRK

– Yyyyy a, damn, again stuck the baby to the key.

– Thank you, extremely important information.

– Already ends. Take a look what is with the text.

– You know, it seems to me that the text is good.

– I agree, there is only to edify.

– And here it turns out too hard, it is to cut out.

– I wonder who it was?

– Yes, what’s the difference? But the text is almost ready.

– Then now we quickly edit and post. Agree?

We did not aim to offend one of the authors of the listed works, the maximum-to joke over not the most successful blogs. Still, not they awarded their kosari. But we cannot blame the editorial office: far from every week there are really cool blogs that are worthy of getting on the main. And the authors leading Friday “Infact” probably have enough work, in addition to reading absolutely all topics in the last seven days. Rather, we want to pay attention to the fact that the problem is not entirely honest, in our opinion, there is a awarding of mowers and it would be nice to solve it.

Perhaps it is worth reconsider the selection procedure itself. We do not know how it works now, for example, Kosari chooses the author of the Friday “Infact”, we are starting from this. A good solution would be to create a group that is actively sitting on blogs, and it will help the author choose the winners. We emphasize, help, the last word should remain with the author of the “infact”. And, of course, all those involved in the discussion automatically refuse to claim prize mowing.

The second option – if there are doubts about the choice of winners, it may be worth it to postpone the coveted thousand on “until the best of times” and at the other week to award not two, but three or more mowers (depending on how many of them are accumulated).

The third option is voting among the author’s composition. Each participating member of the editorial office gives a vote for one of the candidates. The winner receives everything. In the case of parity among several blogs – to arrange a second round among those who have gained the maximum number of votes.

Well, a classic invitation to discuss. You think that all the listed works took the kosari completely deserved and no problem? Or the percentage of the marriage of the sample is so insignificant that you should not bother and redo something? Or maybe I liked one of the options we proposed or you have your own, which you want to share? Since the site decided to change it overhaul, perhaps the mowing system should be changed? Section of comments to you at a mercy, act.

Many thanks to Keksuk, Shanti and Shizoid_human for help in creating this material!